Allow me to present the wonderful Winter Fairy; a direct descendant of Santa Claus and second cousin (once removed) of the Easter bunny’s… She’s not really a “kid person” but she’s the impish Protector of tired, hungover, underpaid and mentally exhausted adults the world over! So shove over, Santa, and prepare to lose the spotlight. It’s January and the Winter Fairy is comin’ to town!
You have all been very bad, haven’t you? Ohhh , don’t even bother making excuses for your drunken, slurred bluster about all that New Year, New You hootinanny! There’s a fairy present ladies and gents, and she’s been watching you since December 31st (laughing her head off in between glutinous mouthfuls of popcorn). She’s been watching with a tsk tsk tsk as you make yet another excuse as to why you’re not yet dieting, learning crochet AND running a half marathon on Tuesdays and Thursday’s (like you swore blind you would).
Yes, the Winter Fairy is all seeing and awfully wise. So crank up the heat, get a nice warming hot chocolate (maybe chuck some alcohol into it…generously; fairy’s orders) and check out this January survival guide full of delicious luscious fairy dust (just picture cake sprinkles if it helps you!)This fairy is about to make January all better, seriously, stop crying. You’ll actually like this!
1. Go fluffy.
Everything you wear must be of the cosy persuasion. Socks, bras, jocks, hats, leggings (these go under your normal daily disguise in case the world isn’t ready for Fluffy You…
2. Sleep your ass off!
Apparently insomnia peaks in January because your body overdosed on all the heavenly rest and general laziness and now it’s in full protest against going back to stinky normality. Sleep it off, guys and dolls!
3. Eat whatever the f@#k you like!
You will anyway so stop with the guilt chat! It’s annoying! I know a girl who had greasey potato wedges for breakfast this very morning but she ruined her own joy by feeling all guilty about it. Just eat the damn wedges and be happy already!!!
5 Be an advocate for Wet January.
Yep. You read that right… Carry on drinking prosecco .. Cheers!
6. Have lots of lovely lingering hot baths.
Go ahead. It’s a great way to get warm fast!
7. Watch your favourite show…over and over
Your body and soul are in shock. Even if Game of Thrones did come back, you just couldn’t handle it right now (sniff).
8. Let your hair grow
Beards, hair, eyebrows leg hair, knuckle stubble . It’s all about heat!
9. Cuddle someone nice
But, like, make sure it’s all above board!
10. Remember, This too shall pass!
You hang in there, little one. Things aren’t going to plan but that’s okay! We’re all feelin’ the pain! Call upon your winter fairy and try to crack a few smiles while you wait for inevitable Springtime!
And just like that. Pouff! The winter fairy vanished but y’all felt a little better…(and lived happily ever after, etc…) Right??
Josephine Blue x